RIP Jack the Mack MacHeath...

Their time is short, but their love is deep.

I felt like the angel of death walking into the seclusion room last night. I was on my way back from two photo shoots when Jack's resident vet called me. "I think you should come down today...There is a chance he can still fight this, but tonight is critical. I'll wait here for you." I hurried the 3.5 hour drive as I knew her shift ended in the afternoon. But our night together went until about 9:30 p.m. I am so grateful to have had her by my side with Jack. I sobbed the entire way to MSU. The familiar campus now had an unwelcome darkness about it, as I knew in the back of my mind I might be saying goodbye to my friend last night.

Jack was put in a seclusion room during his stay where you have to wear full biohazard gear and they don't allow owners to enter the area - you can view your pet through a glass window. It is truly heartbreaking to not be able to touch your pet when they need you the most. I would have been by his side the last several days, had they let me. All I wanted to do was hold my baby boy but they forbid me...so I went home to TC and prayed, researched, and paced the house for days. I couldn't concentrate on work. I tried telling Jack in my mind that I was coming to see him soon and to keep fighting. I drew a cartoon of Jack on the fridge under my one and only Christmas wish "1) Have Jack the Mack home and well".

When I dropped him off on Friday I had a pit in my stomach, "He's going to die here..." is what an inner voice said to me. But I didn't want to listen. I pleaded that they start the tier three antibiotic and do a blood transfusion that day but they waited until Sunday, after other tests - it was too late. I didn't realize how bad of condition he was in because I would get contradictory updates "You can take him home on Sunday night or Monday" and then "I don't know if he's going to make it"...It was such a rollercoaster. It was torture.

When I saw him for the first time since I dropped him off, it broke my heart. I could see death coming. On the other side of the glass in a cold metal cage was my puppy. Even though he was nine, he was still my puppy. He was so anemic that the lively pink tones were gone in his face, he was crusted over from head to toe in infection, and his hind quarters were raw from rubbing in the kennel. He struggled to sit and was uncomfortable. His breathing was restricted due to nasal swelling. "Maybe we can open the door and you can call to him, but you can't come in...I'm so sorry," the vet told me. I mustered a cracked voice to call to Jack and he struggled to lift his head to see me. Another vet tech placed my t-shirt I brought in his cage so he could at least smell me. She pat him on the side and comforted him. "I'm so jealous of her right now...I just want to pet him..." I sobbed and I could see the resident vet looking around to see if her senior was present. "I wrote a waiver, I hold you harmless and I understand the risks...I wish I could see him...." I probably sounded like a toddler pleading.

She kept letting me do more and I was so grateful, I never asked but she just kept pushing the envelope for me. "You can lean in the first door here more and see if he'll respond." then "Come in the first door and step on this foam pad, but don't go through the second door"

Finally under her breath she mutters, "We're going to get you dressed and I'll let you in there to see him...I'm not supposed to." I was praying they would let me sit with him and pet him at least. I couldn't wait to pet him and be by his side. "He is a fighter and a Bulldog. By all means, this dog should be dead already...but he's fighting." I think Jack was waiting for my permission to go and for me to be with him during his transition to the the spirit world.

I put on the booties, the "bunny suit", the hair net and gloves. I stepped in the soapy floor mats and was told I could turn the monitors off for Jack so it was quiet and peaceful in there together. I entered the room and opened his cage, so happy to be with my dog again. He shifted his weight to try and lean into me and I pet him...thanking him for everything. "It has been such an honor to have you, and I am so blessed to have you as my dog, Jack. I am so sorry but I am so proud of you too. You've been so strong." I knew I had to put him down as I looked over his body and watched him. He didn't want to eat and couldn't get comfortable. They didn't tell me how bad it was. It was bad. I started to feel the need to hurry and put him at peace - I couldn't see his suffering anymore. I wanted to be a good shepherd to him.

We filled out the paperwork, I made a phone call to my husband, and we returned to Jack's seclusion room. Some syringes in tow; flush syringes and a white one and a blue one. The blue one is the last one. Jack lay down on his own finally, as if he was ready and knew what was coming. He surrendered. I held his paw and pet the parts of him that weren't painful and asked if he was ready. "We're going to walk through this door together buddy. I'm right here." The white flowed down the tube and I saw Jack relaxing, into a peaceful state. We flushed the tube again. Jack responded to her pokes so we added more. Tested again. He was still fighting for me. "It's okay to go home, Jack. You've done a great job, you don't have to stay anymore," I told him. "Go to sleep, sweet boy..." the vet whispered. "Go to sleep..."Down came the blue. The final step. "Goodbye Jack..." and at the epitome of our pain, I felt a cooling peaceful wave of release wash over as his spirit left. What was underneath my hand was now a shell. Jack was no longer there but his armor was. It was around 9:15 last night when he passed.

I marveled at my beautiful dog as we covered him in a blanket. Trying to remember and capture every wrinkle, fold, and character of him in my mind forever. "555" I told myself in my head...

During my drive down to MSU last night I kept seeing the number 555 everywhere...like an outrageous amount of times on billboards, license plates, mentions on the radio...so I had to look up the angel number 555 online. Perhaps it was a sign. "Angel Number 555 tells of significant and necessary changes happening in your life that have been Divinely inspired and guided...a message from your angels that it is time to let go of the ‘old’ that is no longer positively serving you...Remember that everything happens for a reason and nothing happens by chance. Even though the reason/s for the changes may not be clear at this point in time, trust that all will fall into place for you. These changes have come about so that you can break free from old restraints...major life changes are taking place in many areas of your life. Trust that these changes are for both your immediate and long-term benefit. The angels ask that you ‘go with the flow..."

I have dreaded the day I would have to say goodbye to Jack for many years. I knew that something I loved so much would one day be gone and it wasn't something I could prevent.

The vet and I hugged, I thanked her for being so compassionate and for going above and beyond to let me be with Jack. "I hate when owners aren't here for their pets when they go...I am so glad you were here for him and you chose to put him to rest. "I don't envy your job..." I said, which is ironic because I had wanted to be a vet. This was the side of the field I would be terrible with. "Thank you for staying and I'm sorry for ruining your night..." She had stayed over time for many hours. "I'm going to go cry on the way home too..." she told me. A bittersweet career.

My soul shattered once I got to my car and I am sure my shrieks of loss could be heard in the parking lot. Waves of shock, acceptance, numbness, and despair washed over me on my drive home. I am still processing this loss but needed to write his goodbye story as it's therapeutic for me. After our miscarriage last month, Annie almost dying during a nail trim, and now losing Jack...it has been a rough two months for us.

I got my Christmas wish in an odd way, Jack is "home and well" but not in the sense I had wanted. Jack Annie Harris (their Facebook page) have been one of the best blessings in my life. They've kept me responsible, brought laughter to me daily, and have put smiles on many people's faces. They are both so loved. I don't know how Annie is going to do without Jack but I am giving her extra love and support. Thank you everyone for all your prayers, good mojo and thoughts during this painful rollercoaster but in a way it is good to have a final answer. No more worrying and wondering. Now I have to get past the little reminders...Waking up and crying throughout the night because you remember what has happened, not having him by my side as my copilot to take Cam to daycare, looking for him outside but to find nothing, no more camping and boating adventures with Jack (his favorite), putting away his items...it all feels surreal.

I feel like I've put a strong soldier to rest and I am honored. Thank you Jack for everything. I am devastated but it's for the best and time will help numb this gaping hole in my heart I hope.

A.k.A. "Doo-dee, dee-dee, Jackie-doo, Beau-beau, Jack the Mack MacHeath, Jackie, bubs" and many other names. RIP Jack the Mac MacHeath Harris Fall...You are so loved and so missed already. <3

Meatless Meat?! Yes! SO much "Yes!"

Hey everyone,

I hope you enjoyed the holiday weekend!

I've been meaning to write another blog...so many topics I want to cover, but always subjects and ideas that I think would benefit others.

So what have I been busying myself with lately? Our toddler has opened our eyes to the mysterious and yet delightful world of "meatless meat". Say what? Yes. Meat without meat. How can this be, Samantha? Times have changed and I bring good news!

Once upon a time I tried a "veggie burger" when I was in 7th grade and it was disgusting. It tasted like a bizarre combination of cardboard and a hint of vegetables that had seen better days. The patty itself looked defeated, as if it were begging me to put it out of its misery and dispose of it...ashamed that it knew it was a fraud. And that was it. I never wandered back over to gaze at the rubbery concoctions in the freezer aisle...until recently.

Gross...We shared its embarrassment together in a somber moment

 I had raised Cameron on lots of fruits and vegetables, healthy grains like brown rice or quinoa...and occasionally would offer turkey, chicken, or beef but he never seemed to enjoy meat. 

I remember watching a documentary and the subject was discussing how if a human, who was not conditioned by our industrialized society, was stranded on an island and what their natural instincts would lead them to eat. If they had a choice between an apple and a dead carcass of an animal, that individual would naturally choose the fruit. Meat is supposed to be a last resort food based on our teeth, dietary needs, and behavior.

We tried to introduce different versions of meat to Cameron and he was not having it. I suppose that when someone isn't conditioned to eat meat, that the taste of blood, iron, and flesh in general might not be that appetizing. And for him, it isn't.

So this whole journey has lead us back to, thankfully, veggie-based "meats". And oh my goodness have these products changed...for the better!

Enjoy drooling over this sexy veggie burger...

If I had the funds, I would literally offer to pay every individual in the U.S. to try and sample these new veggie sausages. That's how surprisingly good they are! And guess what? You save money!!! The cost it takes to raise, care for, and slaughter livestock, let alone the natural resources used in this process, far outweigh the cost of growing and creating meatless protein. It's a two-fer! A two-for-one deal. And maybe more! You save money, you spare wonderful animals, and you protect your health from the negative effects and illness caused by red meat. And processed meats, like salami, hotdogs, and so on, are some of the worst offenders...even carcinogenic.

So why hasn't everyone switched over to a vegetarian option? I think there are many reasons, and some seem silly and false, like "Unamerican", "tree hugger", "nutritionally lacking", and the main reason...because we are creatures of habit. Unless someone comes knocking down your door to make you try these veggie sausages, you're not likely going to go buy these and try them on your own behalf.

But I urge you to! I'm not getting paid to promote this brand but this is the company we've been buying veggie burger meat, veggie sausages, and products from: https://lightlife.com/
They have not failed the vegetarian field!

Check out all their amazing recipes here: https://lightlife.com/recipe-search 

I figured I would spare you of horrifying images of how our animals are treated in industrialized farming, that sometimes they're alive while being boiled and skinned, baby chicks are smashed by a machine, and animals are beaten by farmhands. It is a barbaric world we subject them to. But if you're like me, your Facebook newsfeed is full of disturbing images and petitions to sign that cause you to lose sleep. You get your share of horror.

And you're probably already aware of how much fuel, carbon emissions, deforestation, and water it takes to raise the animals we eat. We could make a huge difference if people just ate meat on the weekends and ate veggie-based meats during the weekdays. But people are lazy, right? Or is it unaware? Well, I bring you awareness now :) Please give these a try! Where are they in the store? Several places actually! Some are in the freezer aisle, others are located next to the sandwich meats and sausages. So make a note on your grocery list, to try one of these products...I think you'll be pleasantly surprised!

Light & Love to all of you!
~Samantha~

Cameron's Story :)

Hey everyone!

I've been meaning to write this posting for several weeks but finally got down to working on it the last several days.

How my son Cameron came to be is an interesting story... at least to me, ha! Since he is a month old on the 5th, I decided to finally write down his birth story :)

Sometimes I will have dreams that could be considered "prophetic".

About two weeks before I unknowingly conceived Cameron, I had a dream that I was extremely pregnant with Ron's child...the dream then showed me a line up of babies in "test-tube-like" chambers...I was shown the seventh baby in this "line up" of tubes. The baby was not a girl, so I then knew it had to be a boy. This was to be my baby. He had a possible skin condition that would effect his eyes...oddly enough Cameron did have some eye/skin issues after his birth that are now on the mend.

I didn't think anything of the dream, other than it was just "a dream" but wrote it down in my dream journal that I keep for entertainment.

Weeks later, Ron and I had been taking a nap and I was drifting in that half awake/half asleep state of consciousness. I was still aware of my body, my thoughts, being in the room...when all of a sudden I felt a very gentle finger pet the side of my face on my temple. This loving hand stroked my skin twice and then I fell into a deeper sleep. Despite the oddness of being touched I didn't feel scared or worried...but loved. Then, I was inside of a flesh-colored tunnel and moving very quickly. Before me was a lotus flower chakra symbol...I was watching this flower as it unfolded before me. And then I woke up. (I researched months later that it was the fertility charka symbol!) I had an odd feeling that something spiritually significant had just happened to me but brushed it off. I woke up Ron and told him about it. He replied, "I just had a dream we had a child." I remember thinking "that is weird" but not considering it to be valid or factual whatsoever. In fact, I thought I was basically sterile but always took precautions.

As a kid I always had the idea that having children at age 27 would be great...then when I turned 27 this last year I was like, "Nope...not yet!" But low and behold...I became pregnant at 27!

Shortly after Valentine's Day I remember waking up and hearing an inner voice telling me to take a pregnancy test. It was the first thought that popped into my head when I woke up and I had no idea why. I went to the doctor to confirm the at-home test and sure enough I was pregnant. Ron was going to enlist in the Navy that next day had he not found out I was pregnant. But thankfully I was given that spiritual "insight" and we got back together and are now a happy family :)

I had several dreams of Cameron throughout the pregnancy but especially as we neared his due date. I began having vivid dreams of interacting with him in utero. I dreamt he pushed his little hand through my belly and I was able to hold his hand through my skin. A few days before he was born I dreamt he had finally arrived and I was holding him. I kept trying to see his face in the dream (I was conscious I was dreaming) but he kept turning away from me...Cameron showed me a note in that dream he had written and it said something along the lines of "I want you to wait until it's special to see what I look like." Basically he wanted me to wait until he was born for me to finally see him...I laughed when I woke up and respected his request ;)

Finally, October 5th arrived and I remember wanting to go out to breakfast to a lovely French restaurant I adore with Ron. I had the distinct feeling that, "This might be my last meal out in a long time and we should go out to enjoy a nice meal together before I give birth." But I didn't think I would go into labor that day...But I did! I was upstairs in the office when my water broke and I ran into the bathroom unsure if I was really experiencing my waters breaking. Then the toilet began to leak and a storm was rolling in...apparently barometric pressure changes lead to lots of births. I arrived at the hospital and soon other mothers-to-be started coming in and the hospital was busy! Babies were flying out left and right ;) (The toilet hasn't leaked since, oddly enough, but both our waters were leaking, ha!) My waters broke at 1:11 p.m...I kept seeing the number 111 everywhere that week as well!

I had to have an impromptu c-section for a few reasons and I was really nervous about the epidural and complications for Cameron. I started making jokes and entertaining the operating room staff (something I do when I'm scared lol) and they were loving it. They asked what my fiances' name was and I told them Ron, or "Ronaldo is what I call him..." My doctor went out to the waiting room to grab Ron and announced, "Ronaldo?" Ron later recalls how nervous and stressed out he was waiting in the waiting area, when out comes a doctor relaying that I'm in there cracking jokes - he shook his head, ha!

Cameron was born at 5:01 p.m. at 20" long, a 15" head, 14" chest and 8 pounds and 11 ounces! I'm only 5'3 (if we're being generous) so he was a big baby! I also proudly had the largest placenta our doula had ever seen...apparently I'm good at growing healthy babies!

So that is about all I can write down for now with a newborn, ha! I hope all is well with you readers!

Light & Love to you all!
~Samantha~

"I Understand" - More Harmful Than Good?

"Your post was exactly what I needed to hear today!” or “I asked for a sign and saw your status…it was the answer I was looking for”…these are some of the reasons I like to write and share some aspects of my life with you.  Whether it be some odd spiritual sign I came across or life advice I receive during meditation…I love exchanging ideas and food for thought. Sometimes I also ask for your input because “the advice of many” is truly a gift. I'm grateful for all of you who follow me on social media and hope I bring some light and love into your life as well :)

Once in awhile I’ll hear someone say, “You share a lot online….” when really, I actually don’t – there are so many things I omit from posts and my discussions with others because I like to keep 99% of my postings positive, upbeat, or humorous…I don't want to be like the media, always portraying the "bad" and the "ugly" of our world. We all have our struggles, however. Life is hard. But sometimes, once in a blue moon, I need to feel, to be authentic…to not put on the mask of “always okay” and “happy”. And I’ve actually had others reject that…or attempt to not allow it. To stop me from expressing my True Self. Have you ever had anyone invalidate your feelings? To tell you, you’re wrong…that you’re playing a victim, or that they understand your situation and it’s no big deal…it is the strangest thing. At those moments I wonder if I'm talking with a robot...or a narcissist. 

I want to discuss or elaborate on how we support one another in life, and especially during hard times. For some people, it takes a lot of courage to say or let others know, "Hey, I'm having a hard time right now." So when that happens, how do we respond? How can we help them? 

I think that many people try to say they “understand” to show support and to allow the person who’s experiencing something to know that they aren’t alone. Then there are others who say they “understand” to undermine and invalidate what you’re experiencing…because to them it isn’t a big deal, so “get over it”. In both situations, saying you "understand" can actually be harmful. But how? Saying “I understand” when really we don’t, is basically invalidating someone's feelings or artificially consoling them. Instead of claiming to relate…it may be more helpful and healing to say, “I can only imagine. I’ve never been in your shoes, but I love you and I feel for you and the pain you’re experiencing…”

Unless we’ve experienced the exact same situation, there is no way for us to “understand” what someone is going through. The best thing we can do is be loving, supportive, and understanding…(pun somewhat intended, ha).  Sometimes it’s best to not offer advice or your opinion, and especially not criticism. Occasionally, all that person needs is for you to listen and acknowledge, not to play devil’s advocate or to counter your thoughts with differing views. What that person shares with you is something to be respected and not a topic of discussion with others. So unless you've "been there", don't try to claim that you "know". Accept that what is being discussed is an area that is unfamiliar to you, but that you empathize for that person...that you have compassion for their situation and feelings. You can never go wrong by being loving. 

So that's the lesson I reflected on today! I hope life is doing well by all of you! In addition to some other major things, I've been under the stress of having to scramble to find a new practitioner after our midwife transferred our care...and I'm due to give birth very soon. Trying to ensure our son is healthy as well. Everything I've been planning for, visualizing, getting comfortable with...is now gone, so that's a big adjustment to make. I now will have to be in an environment that gives me extreme anxiety, my fiance' won't be able to participate as much, there will be many more interventions, I won't be able to see my dogs, and will be in a place where sick people and MRSA congregate, ha! Not my favorite to say the least...I feel robbed of a very sacred and empowering experience but you have to roll with the punches. I pray I won't be forced into procedures and medications because I didn't fit the hospital's "timeline". I'm praying for a speedy labor, but you never know. Prayers and good mojo are always accepted :) Thank you! 

I hope everyone is having a wonderful end of summer/beginning of fall :) Light & Love to you all!

~Samantha~

Is God Real? The Meaning of Life? Is New Age evil?....For atheists, skeptics and believers...

Hey everyone!

So I was just reading an article and watched a Youtube testimonial from an individual who previously ran a very successful "spirit science & metaphysics" website/blog who has recently turned away from "new age" pursuits and towards Christianity. I think it'd be an interesting topic to discuss and my experience with God, the Divine, etc. I'll give you my background, things I've experienced that I can't explain, and my thoughts on this.

I honestly am delighted when anyone finds themselves connected with what I refer to as "God". Unfortunately in this society, the word "God" and "Jesus" are very loaded and often tainted. You see minority individuals, like the Westboro Baptist Church, hating on gays advertised on the media, etc. So for a logical, balanced skeptic, it gives God/Jesus a horrible reputation...and I agree. What we have to remember is that you'll find extremists in any religion and culture. What I look at is what this person or group is preaching...is it full of love and light - the essence of God? Or is it fearful, hateful, and judgmental? Does it separate people? That is of the "dark side". Often times, people are repulsed by mainstream religion due to is corruption (pedophilia in the church, monetary motives, mega churches, greed, etc.) and find themselves a skeptic or atheist like the blogger. I completely understand their viewpoint...it all seems manmade and why would someone logically believe in something there isn't any solid evidence for? Well that is where faith comes in...and opening yourself up to receiving signs...or communicating with the Divine. And boy do I have a lot of "odd" stories about signs and serendipity with the Divine.

I was raised as a Christian, I stopped going to church at around 11 years old, but began my own personal spiritual journey at that age. I began trying to understand my psychic abilities I have had since I was very young, and that persistent "knowing" since I was extremely young that there is more to this world...I didn't hate church but I often felt it was missing the point. God was so much bigger and more amazing than mankind was portraying Him/She/It to be...I would also see people, living corrupt lives, attending church...just wanting to believe in something, anything. Wanting to be "saved" and filled up. I don't know how I really knew these things as a small kid but I sensed them. I had a very mature ability to reflect on adults at my age...it was more so intuition. I saw ministers try to use people for their money or skills, including my family and I was turned off. I didn't want to go back to church. But I never doubted God nor stopped believing. I instead began trying to find ways to explain God and how to connect to that divine source.

I studied many different religions and cultures...trying to take away from each one what "rang true" to my soul...and out of all of them it was about "light and love". Again, never questioning God or that Christ existed, etc. But just trying to find a way that felt "right". One that didn't include hatred, judgment...a path that encouraged absolute love and acceptance of others, the animals, our environment, etc. I've learned that "spirituality" i.e. connecting with God/Great Spirit/Divine Creator, etc. is very individualistic...everyone has a different path and what is "right" for one person, isn't necessarily right for another person. Hence why some individuals thrive in church, while others thrive reading and studying God on their own. I think that aspect is often overlooked or frowned upon by organized religion which is a shame. God will connect with us on our own levels if we welcome and encourage it. People need to be encouraged to look for God in whatever way suits them. Knock on God's door and "He" will open it...if you call, God will answer. Maybe not in an obvious way that our A.D.D. society is used to like on a billboard or iPad...but the Divine does speak to us. Almost a whisper and you'll miss it if you don't know where to look or what to expect.

So is God real? What is God? From what I've studied, God isn't a bearded old man that sits and judges you at the end of your life, ha. Plot twist...according to NDE (near death experiences), psychics, and those who claim to remember life before they were born and past lives...we are the ones to judge ourselves after we die. We do a "life review"...and an even bigger twist? We can experience what "we" were like through other's eyes and hearts...we can feel the pain of that person we bullied in third grade. We can feel the pain of that frog we stomped on as a little boy...It isn't about "right or wrong" but learning from experiences. And that is the meaning of our life. To learn and to evolve. Often over many lifetimes...which is pretty logical to me. No one can learn and experience everything as one "role" in a lifetime...we must play different roles each lifetime. Tying this back to those who are Christian....Jesus said, "I am but the first seed." and very clearly demonstrates reincarnation...hello, Easter. I'll get to more New Age stuff in a minute...

I have seen miraculous healing through prayers...From people to my own beloved bulldog, Jack. I don't have a logical explanation. For example...Jack had a horrible prolapsed urethra and was spurting (literally arterial spurts) blood everywhere from his penis...it was horrible to see. I met with the vet and we set a date for when he would have part of his urethra amputated and a mass removed from his genital area. I asked Facebook (funny I know) to send prayers, good mojo, and positive thinking for Jack. I took Jack in to the vet that morning and left...nervous but trusting that God would take care of him. A few hours later the vet calls after preparing to do Jack's surgery. "Well I've never seen this before...the mass is gone and his urethra isn't prolapsed anymore. I tried to pull the tissue out manually and there isn't anything there anymore...he doesn't need the surgery." Jack miraculously healed over night and the mass and tissue mysteriously disappeared. He hasn't had a problem since. How is that possible? Rapid healing on that level does not exist in our typical world...to me, that was divine in nature. Prayers work. Whether it is the "Law of Attraction" or not, prayers work.

More proof God is real? Sure. But it's just proof for me...you'll probably need your own proof or experiences to fully believe, so I ask that you try. With an open heart, ask for God to give you a sign that "He" is real.

I have encountered evil that is repulsed by anything "holy" or pure like God. I have had what I refer to as demonic entities, speak directly to me in audio recordings, clear as day voices not some garbled crap on a voice recorder that likely was a cat yawning haha...but real and evil voices. "Sweetheart" one called me and then beckoned me to participate in one of its perverse games in the recording. I have seen these entities show up at my house before a house blessing to try and scare me away from helping the client. Mind you, I did pass a DSM-IV (psychological evaluation that is 5+ hours long) with flying colors. What I saw was real and I have no explanation for it, other than sometimes I get a glimpse of the spiritual world...both good and bad. Interestingly enough, I have seen different religions demonstrate effective methods, including New Age methods, in house blessings and the removal of demonic entities...how? How did these other religions work at removing a demonic entity if Christianity is "the only way" in this bloggers mind? I think it's beyond religion, again. God seems to work through those who are willing...more on that in a second...

Is God something we can explain like the Law of Attraction, but we just lack the technology to prove it? Is God a real entity? Or more so a phenomenon? I think both.

In the article from the blogger, he announces he will be reviewing all new age topics and going over how they are actually demonic. I'm concerned because often times, when we stumble upon a new experience, belief, or accepted religion, we often bulldoze and burn bridges to anything that represents the past...i.e. throwing out the baby with the bath water. I do not believe all New Age schools of thought and practices are evil...i.e. I don't think meditation is bad, I don't think crystals (formations God made) are evil, I don't think psychics and mediums are evil (Corinthians)...some of these have truth to them...but it isn't separate to God...it points to God. I think when people begin using these items or practices, thinking it's a separate "force" from God, they welcome in darkness and it is blasphemous. For example, I use my dreams as a gift from God so that I can better understand what task He wants me to complete...who to help, how to help, what to do for healing, etc. But in no way do I believe my dreams are my special creation because I am unique and "god-like" or some deity. I know that these prophecies I have are from God and God only. I am told very specific information and eerily accurate metaphors and symbols....not knowing their applicable meaning until I look them up. Then it all makes sense.

Sometimes I'll get people who write me quoting scripture regarding how using white sage during a house blessing is "witchcraft" and not of God...They are often fearful and angry. But then I have my personal experiences to reference. I have had cases in which ordained Catholic priests were unable to remove a demonic presence through prayers and blessing the house. Quite simply, the blessings did not work. I went into the home and counseled the family, then performed a blessing (using multiple religious methods combined into one) and it worked. The demonic presence was removed. Why did this work? I do not believe I am "special" but rather that God will work through anyone who is willing and opens themselves to a pure connection with Him/Her/It. (To me, God does not have a gender but rather is a universal force that loves like a parent but does not seem to display a "male" or "female" type persona.) Perhaps the priest's hearts were not "in it" or perhaps using some of these God-made items on earth is helpful...white sage is an amazing plant put on this planet that I am grateful for. And for those who claim it is witchcraft...it's actually Native American in nature, not Pagan, and has shown in recent studies to purify and sanitize air. Pretty cool!

Whenever I see people on Youtube, Facebook, etc. declare what is "right" and what is "wrong" about another person's practices....it's usually out of fear. And some strange alliance they feel towards what they were taught religiously. They never questioned what they were taught and will stick to those guns no matter what...even if it means bashing on another person and dehumanizing them...It kills me to see a minority of "Christians" hating other people without realizing they are hypocrites to Jesus' and God's teachings. Those are the lost "Christians". Often trying to make up for their own tainted past...many are born again and will force feed others their spiritual beliefs. Usually losing any chance at "converting" someone due to their forceful approach.

I find that the best way to convince people of God is to not convince them. Simply, plant seeds in their mind...be a farmer of spirituality. Let them figure it out. I never cram a denomination or religion down people's throats...but if I am given the chance, I will tell stories of "odd" things I cannot explain. I'll pique their curiosity and get them to wonder a bit. I make it an experiment for them..."Ask for a sign sometime and see what you get. Be open and sincere, but just wait and watch..."

Many of us crave spiritual fulfillment that mainstream religion isn't giving to us. And you're right. God is so much more beautiful, intimate, holy, and pure than what is being shown. It's okay to be turned off by mega churches, to feel disappointed when a religious leader preaches about judging others...because it isn't of God I have found. I also believe it is okay to search for God in many places...because in the end, God is everywhere, and God speaks to us in different ways. For some people, that may be with crystal healing...for others it may be Jesus working through them with Reiki...so I hope that this "Spirit Science & Metaphysics" blogger doesn't completely throw away all his knowledge and experiences...but realizes that many of those methods are used to "reach God" but many get distracted on the way or don't give credit to God where it is due. Just some food for thought.

Light & Love to you all!
~Samantha~

Being Preggers: Part 1

Hey everyone!

I had quite a few people ask that I post about our pregnancy journey on Facebook...however, I've always wanted to avoid becoming one of "those people" who's Facebook page is their baby's Facebook ;) But! I am happy to write some funny blog postings about it!

Being pregnant is weird. Yes, I'm sometimes a little too crass about life's "wonders", but I know there are other people out there who want to know the real scoop on pregnancy and also laugh about it. I am going to make light of this experience - even though I know the precious little bundle of joy at the end of the journey is worth every moment of it. These blog postings may sound like I am complaining, but rather it's my coping method - to bring humor to some of the worst aspects of these big changes ;)

My body is mutating into something I do not recognize...although my boobs now remind me of the character "Bane" in Batman - veins everywhere minus me breathing out of a tube, but I'm sure that will come later. Even putting on a jacket hurts and I cannot sleep without a "knocker harness" now. I fear that without this constraint my mammary glands would fall into my armpit, never to return to their normal shape and is woefully painful.

Blue veins and all...

Sometimes I wake up and forget I'm pregnant...and then the nausea and exhaustion kicks in, as a beautiful reminder ;) I wake up every 2-3 hours each night and I'm starting to forget what a good night's rest is. I have this type of sleep schedule to look forward to for the next year or so. Awesome. You would think I have a 40 hour job in the restroom but no, it is just my bladder controlling my life. Like a little miniature Stalin or Hitler, ruling my existence - it demands, and I must serve. I somewhat feel like a captive in my body...I want to get chores and work done, but then I find myself falling asleep while doing dishes. I think people would mistake me for having narcolepsy...but alas, I am just pregnant.

People expect you to feel and function like "normal" but your body is busy doing things that are anything but normal. I do not have the energy reserves that I used to...For example, cleaning my house and throwing a party sounds like something next to Chinese water torture in my mind, but I will do it because I love my friends...and Arbonne has some cool products they can test out. I will be the lazy pregnant person sleeping on the couch in the corner. I still love you ;)

I think women who have already had children like to sugar coat pregnancy so that this civilization will continue to procreate for the sake of the future. If people knew the "joys" of pregnancy and child birth, I think less people would reproduce ;) "Being a mom is great!" but you never hear "pregnancy is the best!" or "Child birth is my favorite thing in the world, as is pooping on the doctor in the delivery room!" Or "I love having my taint split in half, so that I now function like a chicken. One hole!". Nope. It's like a hidden secret. Being part of the Mom Sorority is seen as "cool" but the things you have to do to get there...not fun. And they will break you.

I headed over to Old Navy to buy some cheap stretchy jeggings instead of fully accepting my fate with maternity pants. As I waited in line, I saw some woman holding her baby over her arm, as it drunkenly spewed spoiled milk all over the floor. Sounds of thick liquid hitting concrete filled the space and I'm sure my face melted into a frown similar to the Muppet's "Beaker". Some splatter made it onto the clothes rack and this woman kept going about her shopping while on the phone and unintentionally giving her baby the Heimlich maneuver. Either the woman did not realize the baby was puking everywhere or she didn't care. Based on how she improperly held her child, I'm guessing it is the latter. She just strolled on as her baby left a snail trail of white, chunky vomit. "Oh that's so cute!!!" No! It was not.

Minutes later I watched a store clerk glance down at the floor in confusion at this "mystery substance" and begrudgingly wiped it up with a cloth...I could then see her facial reaction to what must have been a bitter, nauseating smell. She shook her head as she dumped the towels into the trash..."I don't get paid enough to do this". And I thought to myself, "No...you don't."

Babies are cute, don't get me wrong. But to say they are always cute and fuzzy...is false.

Let's talk about hormones! I can say with 90% confidence that I've been really good about not being 'hormonal". I did notice that I teared up at a military enrollment commercial...and realized this was absurd. But honestly, pregnancy doesn't make you cry at the drop of a hat. If you're a chill person, you're going to be chill with your pregnancy. If you're emotional and all over the place...pregnancy is going to be rough for you. I haven't had the urge to kill anyone, aside from my usual annoyance at people's poor driving skills...aside from that I feel like myself, just a very tired, worn down self. If this baby were an interrogator...he/she would be winning. I'm getting to the point where my work is slipping and I am nearing sleep deprivation.

Hunger...I want you to know that I've had true hunger pains in my life. I have actually starved to the point where my bowels shut down and I stopped going to the bathroom after my adult tonsillectomy and a horrific infection. The University of Michigan proceeded to tell me I was "fine", which was hilarious after losing 15lbs or more. Silly Wolverines. So, I know what it feels like to be hungry and starving...However, I can't really explain this persistent and insatiable hunger that has been gaining in power over the last 8-9 weeks. If there were some parasitic alien that implanted itself into your brain and it's main mission was to consume all the food on the planet through your body, and your body alone...that is similar to the type of hunger I've been experiencing. I want to eat. Everything. Always. If I were being hormonal at all...this is where the rage comes from. Hanger. Hanger may have been invented by pregnant women.

Apparently, I'm supposed to gain 25-35lbs throughout this entire pregnancy. Last I knew the average baby weighs about 7.5lbs...guess what the rest is? The rest of the weight is the invisible food demon you're feeding. That's right. When you get pregnant, you also conceive a food demon. A true two-for-one deal! For example, I haven't had fast food in eons...but while driving with Ron the other day, I demanded he pull over and get me McDonald's. What?!? "Oh my God. Ron. Plastic cheese, salty GMO fries. Pull over!! Yum!"
Ron looked concerned..."I don't know who you are, or what you've done with Samantha...but bring her back! Plastic cheese and GMOs?! You are an imposter in Samantha's body..."

I'm sure my eyes also blackened and rolled back, much like a great white shark as I sank my teeth into the fake food. It tasted amazing though. Immediately after my food frenzy I was ashamed. "Don't ever let me do that again." This is what I have turned into...

Apparently Ron also found great delight in watching my good friend Mallory (who's also pregnant) and I "function" in public. It was like watching the two velociraptors in Jurassic Park during the kitchen scene. "Oh my God. Do you smell that? Yes. Oh, let's get food." as we stalked the air for a trail to food. This is Mal and I talking to each other...

So what do I have to look forward to? Lots! :) Aside from a lovely little baby, I am looking forward to my second trimester...but I am also concerned. The second trimester is like the eye of the hurricane...a false sense of security...a calm before the storm. Then you move on to the third trimester which is like a horrible echo of the first trimester (peeing, starving, sleepless, uncomfortable). And then boom! Out comes the baby. I'll write my thoughts on child birth soon... ;)

I am so blessed to have a partner that thinks pregnant women, stretch marks and scars are beautiful and even attractive. I remember hearing Ron say that when we first were dating and making a mental note that I approved of his stance on this..."Good...because I'm probably going to look like a whale and feel very insecure whenever I have kids." Ron has been amazing and super supportive. Another great thing is when you're in the early stages of pregnancy your significant other will kiss and talk to your fat roll, thinking it is a baby. But just let them think it's the baby and smile ;)

Hope you all got to enjoy some giggles and know I'm being dramatic. So far, aside from the cramps and other symptoms, it has been a piece of cake. Women have been doing this for thousands of years and I plan to take it like a champ ;)

Light & love to you all!
~Samantha~  

Selfish People & Their Fears

Hey everyone!

Well we had a glimpse of spring here in Traverse City...there were spots of grass and as of last night we now have snow again, ha! The bulldogs seemed confused when I opened the door and they looked at the snow-covered porch..."It's back again! What?!" as they slowly sauntered outside.

I wanted to talk about egocentric people and mindsets today. I like to think that if we raise awareness on how selfish people think, and why they function the way they do, that we can help them evolve. This also helps those who are faced with egotistical individuals, and realize why they act the way they do...perhaps we can have compassion for them and understand them better.

You can tell if someone is selfish by their actions and thought process...they have a hard time with, or lack the ability, to give openly. Typically, they'll think of how this giving will affect them first, what they can get in return, etc. After giving they feel empty, or needing to be rewarded, filled back up or praised. "Give without expectations" is not something they encompass. They feel they never have enough, no matter what facet of life we are referring to.

They think of themselves first and can turn just about any situation into something "about them". I've seen it happen with someone's death or funeral, a new relationship, someone's job promotion, or pretty much any other life events...it will translate into how it affects them.

People who are selfish exist in a lower energy level and typically are less evolved souls. Often this withholding and self-centeredness emanates from fear. Fear that they don't have enough, that they will be left behind, that their own needs and desires will not be met, and so on.

I believe that these people felt they weren't nurtured enough in their upbringing and instead of mastering self love...they put the burden of their fears and neediness onto other people. Consequently, projecting themselves as "selfish". An excessive concern with their own needs and self.

I think they often find their fulfillment through others, rather than from within themselves...they constantly look to others to nurture them or provide for them, and can even turn into what we call "psychic vampires". They can suck your energy, happiness, and health from you through direct and indirect ways. People find them to be depressing, negative, and tiring...similar to a blackhole. Instead of radiating love and happiness outwardly, their energy "pull" is an external to internal movement...much like a blackhole. A vacuum type of motion that moves from outside of themselves to inside themselves - if that makes sense. They need to be the center of attention...probably because they felt they weren't given enough attention growing up.

They often think in the negative, instead of the positive, and can eventually manifest their worst fears...creating a sort of self-defeating cycle.

Everything for them links back to "self" - which to me seems to be the opposite of God. God or the Divine, is really about everyone and everything...a connectedness...whereas "self" is singular, limited, and lonely. The divine is limitless, infinite, and conjoined.

Again, I'm going to connect this to the good vs. evil spectrum, lol sorry! But if you look at the vices the "dark side" wants you to indulge in...it is all "self centered" and individualistic. Sort of where our society has been slipping towards. Instead of focusing on others, our world together, what connects us...we're moving towards "me, myself, and I". Many of these vices are solitary and lead to being isolated...back towards the "self" side of the spectrum. Vices, that if prolonged, will leave you alone and by yourself.

These are just some observations I've noticed...if you're dealing with someone who is egocentric, narcissistic, or even bordering on sociopathic...realize that they are all stuck in "self" mode, unable to see the bigger picture due to fear.

So how can we beat being selfish? Put your focus on others! Obviously make sure you love yourself before you begin to love others, but shift your focus towards the outside world. Give without expecting to receive anything, love openly and as often as you can, help whenever you're able to, and you will find that true fulfillment can come from loving and assisting others. :)

Light & love to you all!
~Samantha~